Finding a good manager is pretty similar to finding a good spouse; afterall you spend a good third of your day with him/her if not more, have to please them, put up with their yelling and tantrums and humor them. If you are lucky in finding the right one life is good and you help each other. You do the dirty laundry, take out the trash at times, polish his/her shoes at times,
ensure they are well fed with updates and ready to go. While in return they ensure you are taken care of, have a roof over your head and 2 square meals a day with maybe a vacation every now and then. Besides if you ever do the unthinkable and yell at them, they let it go and give you another chance. And like any good marriage the love continues long after the honeymoon period.In short you grow old and wise together not to mention that translates quite well into the moolah department.
However if you are not one of those lucky few at striking gold you are faced with the harsh reality of divorce after divorce till you either strike gold and join the aforementioned elite group or throw your hands up in the air and reconcile to singledom. The singledom situation is rarely the norm though so that should be comforting.
I for one have not been in the elite group so far but I have not given up yet. I face every new singledom with renewed vigor and the same level of hopes I had of my first partnership and patiently wait as the honeymoon period wanes to reveal the true state of affairs. Kind of like a kid with bated breath as he draws a quarter out of his pocket and starts the process of scratching out the silver lining off, that masks the prize announcement on the little redeem card he got in exchange in his cereal box. My very first partnership ended in slight animosity with a challenge thrown my way to find someone who treated me better and i did, or rather on hearing about the challenge the next partnership came looking for me. The animosity with the first one just grew for the very obvious question of "In the whole wide world could you nly find this one" a feeling referring to my second partnership since my first and second partners were at daggers drawn way before my entry into either of their life's.
The second one unfortuantely ended in disappointment at how poor a provider it was turning out to be. Unfortunately for me I overstayed in partnership number 2 with questions that plague most newbies...is it me? What am I doing wrong....its takes a bit to realize that sometimes somethings are just not meant to be and that the faster we move on the lesser time we spend in therapy... I was quite crestfallen after partnership number 2 especially when I found out how partner 2 was bitching about me to everyone in sight...and this is exactly when friends come in handy...a weep here, a shoulder there and vigor renewed hunt for partnership number 3 started.
I was particularly careful not to repeat any patterns here and I must say I was quite successful for the most part..I moved cities, looked in places I normally would'nt look and took it slow and easy till all my terms and conditions were accepted...i finally caved in and said I do and partnership number 3 ran relatively smoothly but the non provider mode eventually showed up. What is the use of all the service to your spouse if there is no get..just gives. But partner 3 had been better so I tried to work things out. We went in for counseling and had candid conversations about what was wrong and for a while things started looking up again but alas it was time for partnership number 4. Partner 3 failed to understand like most people that a relationship takes work..sustained work and unless that happens the affected party will get up and leave. It was a rough parting because partner 3 woke up just as I had both feet out the door and begged me to stay.
How could I have when I had already signed myself away to partner number 4. And as I thought at the start of all new partnerships in days bygone, here I am with the same dreamy look in my eye believing this is it... this is the one that will go all the way...
I sometimes look at old partners who have long been together and still going strong and wonder were they plain lucky or did they just grit and put in the work together for them to walk hand in hand growing wealthier, wealthier and wealthier. Have they worked out the perfect symbiotic relationship of provider and follower...the provider being the archer and the follower being the charioteer in this case?
