Everything else is but a dream !

So I don’t know if I am shaking because of all the coffee I had this evening or if its from the movie “Inception”. Now that I mull over the question I think it’s the movie that’s gotten me in this state. How do I know if I am awake or asleep just right now? How do I know what level I am in? What’s my token to keep check on what’s real and what’s not? Then again maybe this is not real. And all the incidents and people in my world are afterall my projections….imperfect projections of my own sub conscious and I am my own subject in my own dream filling it up with all these experiences so I can learn lessons from them and believe that the lessons I learnt are from my own thoughts and creations, but are they really my own thoughts and creations or simply what a higher self of me wants me to think is “my” independent thoughts? Have I then truly created this world? To live in a world that lasts a lifetime but that’s probably only a few minutes or seconds in some higher conscience of mine? How would I ever know? Do I need to die to wake up and realize what is true; to unveil what’s beyond this life and existence? Do I need a kick to jolt me out of this dream where everything is so real and yet not so real? I cannot wait to explore what’s beyond when I wake from this state; probably a glimpse of which I have already tasted once during my meditation where I was indeed living in a world created by myself….but then who is this me? What level of subconscious is this “me” reverberating from? Is that why I have started feeling a sense of detachment at times from this world? Because a part of me realizes that I am asleep and my sub-conscious is jolting me to realize that its time; time to wake up to a new reality? But the true question to ask is why am I here? What brought me here? But if I created all this who is this “I” in the first place? So am I the architect and the subject in this dream? Whats the goal? Whats the purpose? I need to self –enquire, go deeper so I can rise, rise above all that seems to be. I need to push the elevator to the top floor and see what’s there. I need to find my token and keep looking for whatever it is that I am here to take back with me as I rise above !! And till I can do that I need to be the architect of my own dream and continue to build without letting any of the events pull me into limbo, without letting any event get larger than the dream itself. But what if I create a dream so intricate for my own self that I don’t know how to navigate it? Is that what a “messed up” life is supposed to be? What happens to people who create these daringly bold mazes that they get trapped in? is that why we traverse life’s; or in other words die to wake up and then sleep so we can be born again to continue our search; kind of like a diver who needs to return to the surface every now and then for a breath of fresh air only to dive back into the thick dark strange ocean full of endless possibilities to continue searching and building what he seeks to achieve? How far down should I dive to retrieve what it is that I am here for? I guess I will know when its time or that’s probably why I am building these people around me. All I need to do now is dream on and not fear what events I have to traverse in my dream because what I wake up with is what really matters…everything else is but a dream !!